Tell me no more,

Tell me no more that I should walk away
letting the love I have found
drift through me, fading into the shadows
You see my life as one of longing
for a love you feel I will never have.
I see it as one of a soul bound to another
with a love I can never lose.
Tell me no more that I should walk away
for if I do, my heart will stay behind
tied to the heart of the one I love.
Then I too will disappear
like leaves scattered in the wind.

Just some words

There are days that I want to tell you what I’m feeling, but I can’t find the words. This is one of those days, and something I felt told me you needed to hear it. I’ve tried to write it over and over and it just doesn’t fall into place. When this happens I want to be wrapped in your arms, so that I can tell you how much you mean to me and how not a moment goes by when you are not in my thoughts, not one. I want to tell you how very much you mean to me, and that there is no one who could take your place, no one who could give me the things you have, not one. Perhaps I will find something poetic to write later but for now these are true words from my heart.

Listen to The Voice In Your Heart

Yesterday I sat with pen and paper
trying to speak with you,
something new I decided to try.Perhaps you would have the answers
to all the questions that fill me.
As I wrote those things I wished to know,
you were there, but only watching.
You spoke only to try and reach me
and tell me to stop
as you have done so often.
Stop doubting the voice in my heart.
Stop trying to find the answers.
Those answers will come in time,
when I am ready to hear them.
It took me hours to hear your voice,
as no doubt you watched me struggle
hearing only my doubts and fears
filling me with pain and sadness.
You spoke with strength yesterday
bending your shelter over me
telling me to be strong in the face of waiting.
As I have sent my love to you
to steady you when you are weary,
so it has returned to me.
I feel your hands behind me
and your arms around me.
Listen to the voice deep in your heart
and know that you hear all that you need.

~Dead Eyes See No Future~

Giving our blood
To the doomsday machine
Fighting for ravaged land
A worthless gain
Marching on a dead end road

A violent new disorder
Feeding off mistrust
Forgot what we were fighting for
A worthless aim
A victory stinking of despair

Dead eyes See no future
Falling from grace
We are coming home

Battalions of hate
Seeking shelter in hell
Bloodstained memories
Will we ever be forgiven
Our twisted fate
Time will tell

Click Here to hear , Arch Enemy’s Dead eyes see no future

You

i think of u now,
the emptiness grows more inside me…
i still remember the words u told me
and so im waiting for you
i dont know how or when…but i know someday we’ll be together
and… if not,
i will still wait and wait and wait for u

Miserable Life

COZ’ OF A LIE, my lifez so miserable….if u lie-u will suffer

Tears rained down my cheeks when i think of her.I spent my days assuring myself that i would
get over her.And my stomach felt as if it were filled with rocks.Everytime i went out,i
kept hoping i might bump into her.Feels like she had spoiled other girls for me.Why cant i
go back to my normal schedule,my usual way of thinking?

Girls didn’t do this to me.Girls didn’t bump me.Girls didn’t make me feel low.
And i wasn’t about to let it get to me.But she had gotton to me in a way i didn’t want to
acknowledge or even think about.I know i was in trouble.Maybe i was coming down
with a cold or the flu.

Finally i admitted i simply had to give myself time to
recover from her effect on me.A week simply must not be long enough to get
over a girl.

Still, a tiny voice niggled at the back of my mind.I still had my
freedom if i wasn’t happy?
I’d always smirked in superiority at other guys in my condition,believing they
were fools for letting a girl under their skin.And now i feel myself a fool.but
i’d get over her.Forget her.

At night,she haunted my dreams,and i woke up aroused and aching for her,recalling her sexy voice,
her bright laughter,the way she liked to have fun,the way
she made me feel good,happy,eager to face the day.
As opposed to how i feel now.Moody,Somber on edge,fighting gloom and melancholy.

There’s no day i couldn’t think about her…And finally i threw myself into studies.Telling myself that an
occupied mind would get me over the mourning period faster.That plan also failed.

I paced, wearing a path in my room, stared at my pc, for hours, thinking to mail her.
I wanted to say sorry for what i said, and for what i’ve done.There’s no other way i could
say it.Coz’ she don’t even want to see my face now.
No matter what, i just can’t get through with this.

I logged into my thehakuru webmail account and entered a few words which came into
my mind in that moment, i said her to forgive me,and im sorry for everything what i had
done to her”,and i send off..i waited but no reply…….

Everyone who knows her,her friends and all, looks to me in anger,but no one knows how hard
im going through with my f***ing life now….All i know is that the pain i gave to her
is now bouncing back to me…i didn’t knew the importance of her in my life when she was with me..
But now when she left me i reallized how lonely i feel without her..no one can cure this pain
inside me,accept her…

I can feel that im in trouble,Deep sinking trouble.No girl had ever refused me.
Telling myself her reaction is my own fault did no good.Who cares whose fault it was?
Casting blame only made me seem pathetic.Instead, i would think about what i could
do now.What i wanted now….

I want her back.Have to see her and straighten out this mess.But how can i talk to her
when she wouldn’t answer.

And one day while i was shaving, i looked at myself in the mirror.I had dark circles under my eyes
from brooding and from a lack of sleep.My face was grim,my lips tight,my skin unhealthy
looking.

A big change…….

And that was when i knew that something was very,very wrong
with me.As much as i tried to deny it.I had uncontrollable feelings for her.As the
abhorrent thought that i had fallen for her hit me.I nicked my face shaving.
Blood tricked from the cut,spattered in my sink.With a vicious twist of the
faucet,i washed away the blood,wishing i could wash away my feelings.

Damn it, i never planned to fall in love.i liked my life just the way it was…Thank you very much.
I didn’t intend to change my freedom-loving spirit for any girl, Especially not someone who cant forgive me.
Especially not a girl with such high standards.

Okey, so i have fallen in love.IM human.I would forgive myself the weakness and
get over it.

BUt after all these days with no sleep.I decided to reassess.Living my life alone
and my way was making me miserable.Freedom no longer seemed so wonderful.
My normally fulfilling activities seemed empty…..With the school
running so smoothly, i was bored, the routine seemed draining.

Days passing by….

One night as i tossed and turned alone in bed, i decided that i wasn’t getting over
her.I missed her.Obviously, she wasn’t going to change her mind about me-unless
i do something drastic.But drastic meant that i would have to change.Forever….

Restless, i kicked the covers off my feet.Why the hell should i offer to giveup
my precious freedom and change my life for her?

Because my life’s miserable without her, because if i didn’t atleast try to get
her back, I’d never forgive myself.

i Punched my pillow. Yes!!!…i can see me, the one who avoided responsibilities.
But admitting that i might want a more commited lifestyle didn’t meant i was giving up my identity…

Bingo !!!

I want to have a strong relationship with her,one which can’t brake us but hold us forever…

RELATIONSHIP ?
Why am i even thinking about new relationship when she wouldn’t see my face?

i must be losing my mind to consider trying myself to a girl who
wouldn’t accept my apology..

i had treated her badly.But i lied to her before i would known i loved her.While
suppose i should have recognised my symptoms sooner,why whould i? i had never
been in love before….

Okey, i love her.Admitting it to myself had yet to kill me.I am still me,
Just as me who love a girl.I could wrap my mind around it.i love her…OKEY!!!!

Recent experience had taught me that stopping these strong kinds of feelings is neXt to impossible.
I certainly tried and failed.

Where will i go with this???
I much prefer to focus on rectifying my mistakes.

wHAT AM I GOING TO DO???? Now i know my goal….Winning her love-i need a plan.

I love her, i want the freedom to love her.I already tried mailing and phone calls.
She’s not ready to forgive and forget,but i refuse to face the possibility
that she never will.

SHE HAD COMPLETLY CHANGED MA WHOLE LIFE

I hate……..

I hate you more than everythin else,
I hate you more than i hate myself,
I despise most everything in this world but,
You’re the one to which it unfurls. You used me abused me,
Banged up and bruised me,
Denied me, lied to me,
Satisfied then defied me.

Left me weak, so to speak,
Your techniuq isn’t so sleek.
I bled for you, pled for you,
Instead now I dread you.

It isn’t so surprising,
You see why I said good-bye,
Trying to steal my innocence,
Practically made me die.

I can’t trust anyone now,
It has to be my fate.
No one must gate through my gate,
And so, I must hate.

My Pain

blackness comes
blackness leaves
darkness falls
as i grieve
life is pain
pain is life
i could end it all
with this knife
it’s called homacide
but who really cares
we’re all gonna die

Death

I lie here on the floor.
I wish to live no more.
I wish not to live this pity excuse of a life.
I take into my hand a rusty knife.
It is time for me to say my last vow.
It is time to Take my final bow.
It is time that my life is ended now.